Is living with someone who doesn’t clean driving you mad? Are you fed up with asking them to help you?
You aren’t alone, there are many people feeling the way you do and it’s OK to feel frustrated and overwhelmed from doing all the cleaning yourself.
I want to help you feel better about cleaning and to give you some tips to get others to help too. Cleaning houses is hard work and something that should be shared.
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People Who Don’t Clean
There are different reasons why some people don’t clean:
- I know some people hate to clean and that’s OK if they can afford to pay someone to come into their home and clean for them.
- Other people have been brought up in a world where they don’t believe it’s their place to clean.
- Those people who are unable to clean for themselves.
- People who have mental illness often find cleaning a difficult task to do.
- Lazy people who think others should do it for them.
- People who have no need to clean, others do it willingly for them.
While some reasons are valid there are some people that should take more responsibilty when it comes to cleaning up after themselves.
Their Efforts Isn’t Good Enough
This one I think I’m guilty of with my family, when the children were little I wanted my home to be clean, really clean and often after someone had taken the time to clean I would go over it and do it to my standard.
I know this lead some of my family to feel that why bother, their efforts weren’t appreciated and they did stop helping me.
It meant that I could do the task to my standard and I was happy, what it meant for my family was not being able to do some of the basic cleaning tasks themselves and this I’m sorry for.
I didn’t teach my children how to clean, they didn’t do chores because I couldn’t cope with the standard and so I let my children down.
It was harder as they got older to learn to do things that they should have been doing for themselves for years.
They Don’t Know What To Do
It’s understandable that if you have been brought up in a home where they didn’t have to do any cleaning they aren’t going to know how to do it.
There’s not some magic voice that tells you when you need to clean something, it’s something you have to learn.
Teaching an adult when it’s time to clean something isn’t easy, they might need a list of the cleaning that needs doing each week.
They might need help realising that being an adult means you need to clean, it’s a part of growing up.
But, learning what to do and when isn’t easy when you’ve never been taught anything about cleaning.
Having The Right Tools For The Job
I think this is one of the most important things that you need to consider.
Having the right tools that will help you clean easier is so important.
It can make the difference between wanting to clean and running away from the cleaning task.
The products you need:
- microfiber cloths
- stream mop
- degreaser cleaning product
- oven cleaner
- window cleaning cloth
- multi surface cleaner
Changing Your Perspective About Cleaning
If you haven’t been taught that cleaning is good and it’s something you need to do, suddenly being expected to clean is difficult.
It’s a transition that they have to make mentally and physically that cleaning is something that has to happen.
The word ‘chores’ has such a negative feel towards it and it’s a word I don’t like. Cleaning tasks, is such a better way to describe cleaning activities that need doing.
You aren’t cleaning for anybody in particular, you are cleaning because it needs doing.
I think the worse thing you can say is ‘can you clean the kitchen for your mum’.
It’s just really, ‘can you clean the kitchen?’
The cleaning is for yourself and your family, so that you don’t put your health at risk living in a dirty home.
Rethinking Why You Need To Clean
It’s all about perspective and the thought that you deserve to live in a clean and healthy environment.
It’s not about doing chores or bad things, it’s about living where there are no germs or bacteria growing that can make you and your family ill.
So, living with someone who isn’t spending any time cleaning up after themselves isn’t fun and you need to talk to them about their lack of cleaning.
Asking them why they don’t clean, what’s causing them to feel that it’s OK to let you do all the cleaning.
There might be a simple answer that they didn’t know what to do or when.
What If They Assume It’s Your Job
I have known people that feel that it isn’t their job to clean, it’s the job for their wife or partner and not something they should ever have to consider doing.
This is a very sexest thought, especially in modern times with women working equally hard outside the home as well as bringing up children.
Trying to change the mind of someone who feels like this is going to be difficult and it should be something you are aware of before you marry or live with them.
It’s a tough situation to be in and one that I wouldn’t be happy with, to begin with though this is what I did because I was a stay at home mum.
I do think that cleaning should be completed by everyone in the home, they help make the mess they should help with the cleaning too.
But how do you share out the tasks? This is going to look different for every household, they are all made up with different lives and different standards.
But, you do need to talk about what you could share or what you prefer to do and not do, so it becomes part of the every day discussions about what tasks are needed completing.
Pin a list of cleaning tasks to the fridge and cross them off when they are done, this is the simplest way to show what you have to do and what has been completed.
Asking For Help
When it comes to the cleaning, asking for help is something that you shouldn’t have to do, it should be part of working together as a family keeping your home clean and sanitized so it’s safe for everyone to live in.
Is living with someone who deosn’t clean frustrating? Yes, and it’s important to have a discussion on why they choose not to clean and help the upkeep of the home.
Teaching someone to clean is important as it enables them to be productive and gives them a chance to help keep the home clean.
Talking about cleaning before you move in with somebody, I think it’s an important topic of conversation as to what the expectations are.